Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Bristol Palin's Baby

I'm happy to hear that Bristol Palin gave birth to a healthy baby boy. But like others, I'm wondering when having the baby first, getting married later became the norm?

It isn't just semi-famous daughters of vice presidential candidates doing this. I know several people who have sat by in frustrated silence while their children planned fantasy white weddings which occasionally included their own children as flower girls and ring bearers (I'm not making this up).

Every generation thinks the one following is selfish and short-sighted, but I can't imagine anything more self-centered than putting off getting married because you have to have a gigantic reception complete with three-course wedding dinner and a four-piece band for the dance. Unfortunately, I've watched many people do this for the past 15 years or so, and the reasoning seems to be that because they want the white wedding, nothing--including parenthood--should interfere.

Perhaps this is just the culmination of our no-shame culture. We've gone from branding scarlet A's on people to applauding nonsense like this, all in the name of preserving self-esteem and not being judgmental. And while I certainly don't want to go back to the days where illegitimate children couldn't inherit from their parents, it seems to me that some shame is a good thing. We just shouldn't be having baby showers and wedding showers for people who thumb their noses at those quaint traditions of marriage and legitimate birth. The old joke that the first child comes any time after the wedding but all others take nine months still holds some truth to it.

And before the pro-choicers chime in, this is not a call for the abortion of illegitimate children. It just seems to me that if you find out you're pregnant and you and the father want to get married, then you shouldn't wait until the kid is walking before making it legal. A Justice of the Peace can perform a wedding with as many memories as any other officiator.