Via the Brothers Judd, we find more evidence supporting Mother's question: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? (BTW, that was just for the Pandagonistas who might still be hanging around).
However, studies done in the late 1990s in Scandinavia, where almost 60per cent of births are ex-nuptial, discovered a much stronger connection between the attitude of the man in a cohabiting relationship, as to whether a formal marriage eventuated, than the attitude of the woman.
Cohabiting men were found to be far more hesitant than women to formalise the relationship. Furthermore, this pattern holds true even in relationships that have already produced children.
Among the childless, men seem to fear that marriage will push them into more of a provider role. They harbour strong doubts about the ultimate value of a relationship -- whether it will be lifelong -- and are less likely than women to yield to normative pressure from parents. What exactly was the word the Pope used: selfish?
Yes, it is selfish. It's also self-destructive. When you treat marriage as just another option, what reason should someone choose marriage?
Let's face it. Modern Western society has devalued marriage as an institution by either neutralizing its privileges (by expanding marriage, for instance, to include groups it wasn't intended for) or degrading it through greater acceptance and encouragement of late marriage and sexual activity outside marriage.
As uncomfortable as it is for those on the left to hear, there's no reason for a man to marry if he can get all the benefits of marriage--including sex, a home, children, companionship, housework, etc.--without actually marrying someone. A man who doesn't marry the woman he sleeps with leaves the door open to leaving and/or having other women. And while many women may kid themselves that they are "just like married people," they know inside they aren't. That's why homosexuals want the state to legalize their unions; without that state endorsement, a relationship isn't marriage.
I know what Amanda says: she doesn't want marriage. And she often discusses the ways marriage is unfair to women--that they do most housework and childcare, for instance. She constantly berates women for wanting the big white wedding and blames society for pushing a view of marriage that benefits men and disadvantages women. But the truth is, the sexual revolution has been a boon for men who wanted to sleep with all the women they wanted and a boondoggle for women who thought being "free" was going to lead them to greater pleasure without giving up many of the benefits of marriage, including stability and children. Maybe some women like being unwed and childless past 40, but I doubt there are that many of them.
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