More on Why Women Don't Want to Be Feminists Anymore

All you have to do is read Echidne's blog for a while, and you'll come to understand why younger women don't want to be associated with the humorless feminists of the previous generation. Take this riff of hers on a Glenn Beck self-deprecating joke (care of Media Matters, of course!)

Here's the Beck joke:

Now, here's a story I found: "Surprising reasons you're not having sex"...

I mean, here are some other reasons. "You're ugly." Hello! I'm not a sex expert but I'm -- you know, I'm thinking, you know, you're ugly and, you know, that's a tough one to overcome especially if you're a woman. If you're a guy, that's not hard to overcome. I'm sorry. That's just the way the world is. Have you -- how many ugly guys have hot wives? Take me, for example. I don't know why she married -- I think it was low self-esteem. I do. No, really I think it was low self-esteem. I got in -- you know, you buy when the market is low. You know what I mean? While everybody else is selling, you buy. And I think I got in there right at the right time. Low self-esteem, low, wait a minute, could go a little lower, she might come down to my price. Hang on, OK, sold! Now her self-esteem is going up. And if my income wasn't going up, she would have ditched me long ago. She would have gone, "Wait a minute, I think I was depressed when I married you." I'm just -- look. I'm not Tania, but I am a thinker. I'm on to you, Tania!

Emphasis Echidne's.

I've come to the conclusion that Echidne and other feminist bloggers don't like humor, especially old-fashioned humor. You know, humor that husbands and wives tell each other when they are teasing. Men talk about the ball and chain and women talk about how incompetent their men are at something or other. Watch reruns of I Love Lucy, Home Improvement, or George Lopez to know what I'm talking about. At the end of the show, the couple always comes back with why they love each other so much. Perhaps that's what Echidne doesn't get.

Here is Echidne's humorless analysis of Beck's self-deprecating remark:

It's a joke but it isn't really a joke. The thinking goes something like this: Women want money and men want sex. So all women are in the market for a rich guy and all men are in the market for a beautiful woman. Then they trade. And that is called love, I guess. Of course, once you lose your looks or your money you also lose the love...

Anyone who has listened to Beck, watched his show, or read his books knows that he isn't saying this at all. Mainly what he says is that guys are shallow and women know this and accept it for reasons beyond the pea-sized brains of most guys. But even in this sweeping generalization, Beck typically points out how lucky he is that his wife loves him regardless of how silly or shallow he is. This has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with what real love is about: caring for someone when they are lovable and when they aren't. It's not about money or power the way feminists constantly declare it is. If it were about money or power, most of us wouldn't marry the people we end up with. Unless you are Hillary Clinton and can then deny that that's why you stayed with a skirt-chaser.

Happy Valentine's Day!

One for those just starting (forget the video)...



One for the end...



(Ok, that wasn't slow and tragic, but you get the idea).

And one for those loves that go on and on (ignore the video...PLEASE)...



May everyone have this day with the one they love. :)

Young (at Heart) Love

A friend of mine sent me this story from the San Antonio Express-News about a couple who hit it off at their 70th class reunion and just got married.

On Saturday, in the soft light of a tall stained-glass window at Trinity Baptist Church, the radiant couple stood side by side and exchanged wedding vows. The bride wore a lacy white gown, her hair piled high and crowned with a sparkling rhinestone tiara. The groom stood beside her looking smart in a black tuxedo with a French cut. Both are 89 years old.

Maybe as I get older I love these stories about old people falling in love and getting hitched. The couples are always so romantic, just how you remember falling in love.

The couple seems giddy. Every morning, they coordinate their outfits to match. Offer makes coffee for her while she reads the newspaper to him. Driving in the car, they always hold hands. They linger over breakfasts at a neighborhood diner, just the two of them talking, sometimes stopping only when they notice the lunch crowd has arrived. And in one of the greatest benchmarks of his affection, Offer has even taken to watching Mahan's soap opera.

Love is always an amazing thing to watch, whether the couple is 16, 30, or 89.

Happy Valentine's Day!

My birthday falls quite near Valentine's Day, and one of the things I told my husband early in our dating was not to give me a "combo" gift. I had learned that men who combined my birthday with Valentine's Day probably weren't worth the time and effort. After all, who wants their birthday combined with the closest holiday? Everybody wants their own day.

This year, things were tight, so, when I opened my birthday gift, I found a beautiful amethyst heart necklace. I was very pleased, but then my husband said, "It's a heart. See? Combo gift."

Of course, after 11 years, I thought this was funny and told him that he'd done a good enough job wooing me that I could let him off the hook this one time. ;)

Just as our family rules about Valentine's Day have changed, I noticed that the "rules" at school have changed as well.

When I was a kid, we made Valentine's sacks out of lunch bags covered with red construction paper hearts. Every child in class brought those tiny paper Valentine's cards with TO: and FROM: on them. No extra messages. No candy. No cookies. No games.

But times have changed. Last night, I helped the kids put together their Valentines. They wrote names, applying the proper stickers, then we taped suckers to the inside of the card.

When my kidlets came home today and poured out their Valentine's sacks (still lunchbags with construction paper hearts glued on), it looked more like Halloween than the Valentine's Days I remember from my childhood. Each of them had several chocolate hearts, lollipops, candy bars, M&Ms, and other assorted candies. Some people even sent toys! I guess next year I'll have to get more than just lollipops. ;)

The other thing I thought was interesting was the Valentines themselves. Of course, when I was a kid, the Valentines were less commercial (even though we still bought them). They were all sort of generic hearts with corny sayings inside. Now, all the kids' Valentines are product endorsements! The Valentines I bought for the kids to distribute, for example, were Over the Hedge and Disney Princesses (we have to make our Disney donation, you see).

I was fascinated by the Valentines my children received. There were Hello Kitties, Power Rangers, Iron Man, Barbie, something called Princess Jewel, Daisy Duck, Spongebob Squarepants, Herbie the Love Bug, Cars cards, Snoopy, and Superman. These were in addition to more generic puppies and kitties, baseball, or flowers cards. I had no idea kids' Valentine's cards were such big sellers!

In any event, here's hoping everyone has a great day to spend with the one they love.