I'm sure I'll get blasted from some people for saying this, but why is John Edwards still running for president after announcing that his wife has incurable cancer?
When I first heard the news of Elizabeth Edwards's cancer, I was dumbstruck, then horrified, then prfoundly sad. I cried, then prayed for her, her husband, and her family. I'm particularly upset because she has small children, about the same ages as my youngest children. I simply can't imagine anything worse for her and for her entire family than this tragic news.
So, why is her husband still running for president?
Maybe it's shock? Maybe it's denial? Maybe she told him she wanted him to continue, as a fulfillment of their dream together? I don't know. It just seems strange to me.
I know that the shock of a life-threatening illness can be hard to shake off. You can continue going through the routine of your life and tell yourself that nothing has changed. But surely, at some point, Elizabeth's illness will become so evident and prominent that her husband will really have to stop what he's doing to take care of her.
I'm not speaking from a scientific standpoint. I'm speaking for a personal one. When my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer, my father had a difficult time handling it. The way he dealt with it was by continuing to do all the routine things of his life and pretend that our lives weren't about to head over a cliff into the unknown. At the time I was frustrated with him because I didn't understand why he wasn't by her side every second of the day. It wasn't until later that I realized that doing the normal things of his life and not discussing the inevitable was the only way he knew to deal with it.
So, maybe that's what's happening to John Edwards right now. Maybe he is wanting to give the doctors and medicine a chance to help his wife. Maybe his determination to continue this race is his dedication to her and to their ideals. I just hope when she really needs him, he will give her all his attention and to hell with politics.
UPDATE: Captain Ed points out that Elizabeth was quite invested in this campaign and that that could be her husband's motivation for continuing. It is a tough call to make, but my prayers and sympathies are with all of them.
I haven't read the update yet, but I also could imagine someone with a terminal condition wanting to see the campaign end before passing on. I'd prefer not to make too many accusations about cancer, obv. JOhn Edwards is still a human being...
ReplyDeleteI don't want to accuse him of anything, either. In fact, I'm trying to avoid some of the things I've read elsewhere. I'm assuming that his campaign is her dream, too, and that's why he's pursuing it. The best of all of them.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to accuse him of anything, either. In fact, I'm trying to avoid some of the things I've read elsewhere
ReplyDeleteYeah, seems like the best policy.
I'm not going to blast you for your question. I'll just give a shot at an explanation from the perspective of a breast cancer survivor a few months ahead of Elizabeth Edwards. Ours were similar. Large to begin with, treated with surgery (she a lumpectomy, me a mastectomy), chemo, radiation. For me hormone therapy and a year after the last chemo another year of herceptin not because it came back but because this therapy was getting results. I haven't investigated to see if her cancer was Her2 positive or if she had herceptin.
ReplyDeleteShe and John could retreat and sit down and wait to see when it's going to get bad. Or they could do as they are going to do. Go ahead and live and hope and believe that there are still good days ahead. It's not a failure to face reality. It more of facing the cancer reality and continuing to live despite it. I applaude them for holding onto their dreams. I'd imagine it's Elizabeth driving this decision entirely. I wouldn't want my family to give up on possibilities and come hold my hand either. He'll be there when needed and that may be some time from what I know.
She is a remarkable woman to let the world into her cancer world.
Sheila,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the perspective. It's nearly impossible to understand the world they are living in right now, not having actually lived in it.
My husband had thyroid cancer. It was a terrifying time between diagnosis and surgery, and we've lived with the knowledge that he will have to be retested yearly for many more years. But in some ways, that cancer doesn't seem to be so deadly (call it a little "c," versus the big "C." Maybe it is because I've been around so many thyroid cancer survivors.
My mother-in-law had breast cancer and had a mastectomy about two years ago. Thankfully, there has been no sign of it returning.
Perhaps it is because they have been through the initial shock that the Edwardses are determined to stay in the presidential race. I can see why one would be so determined.